Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Would You Shred this Blurb for me?

Updated

Slacker Jon Reagan often challenges his life expectancy since he and his best pal, an autistic genius, partnered with a couple of bounty hunters. His participation in the dangerous stuff exploded, like his life. The drama snagged him a sexy FBI agent girlfriend, but he promptly got her shot. He’s been beaten to a pulp and tested his Kevlar far more than is wise, enough his partners often mumble, “Bullets love you.” When he thinks karma may cut him a break, more of the same piles on when family skeletons and a new load of disasters slap him aside the head. He faces a life decision. Odds don’t favor him living to make it.

All feedback is appreciated :)

What reads too rough for you?
What doesn't make sense?
Does it grab your attention?
Does it intrigue?

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5 comments:

  1. "Slacker Jon Reagan joined a dangerous club; almost got his FBI agent girlfriend killed.
    His partners often mumble 'Bullets seem to love you'.
    He faces a life decision, but will he live to follow through?"

    How's that? Tension, but not too much detail. You want a blurb that grabs the attention without giving too much away.

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    Replies
    1. Here's an update. :)

      Slacker Jon Reagan often challenges his life expectancy since he and his best pal, an autistic genius, partnered with a couple of bounty hunters. His participation in the dangerous stuff exploded, like his life. The drama snagged him a sexy FBI agent girlfriend, but he promptly got her shot. He’s been beaten to a pulp and tested his Kevlar far more than is wise, enough his partners often mumble, “Bullets love you.” When he thinks karma may cut him a break, more of the same piles on when family skeletons and a new load of disasters slap him aside the head. He faces a life decision. Odds don’t favor him living to make it.

      Delete
  2. I am a bit braindead this afternoon, but would agree with River.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How's your brain now? An update:

      Slacker Jon Reagan often challenges his life expectancy since he and his best pal, an autistic genius, partnered with a couple of bounty hunters. His participation in the dangerous stuff exploded, like his life. The drama snagged him a sexy FBI agent girlfriend, but he promptly got her shot. He’s been beaten to a pulp and tested his Kevlar far more than is wise, enough his partners often mumble, “Bullets love you.” When he thinks karma may cut him a break, more of the same piles on when family skeletons and a new load of disasters slap him aside the head. He faces a life decision. Odds don’t favor him living to make it.

      Delete