Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Favorite Passage

Greetings. This just read goodly to me...from my current work in process.

The street didn't T-bone Broadway. They joined in a Y. A closed barbecue place filled the top of the Y. Lots of wide-open parking space. Nowhere to hide if bad men with guns just wanted to fill the Expedition with lead.

They chose well. No way my stomach could get any tighter. I'd never poop again without surgery to untie the knots.


  1. Good piece of writing I'd say.

  2. Tense. And I recommend he/she avoids those surgeries. Total constipation sounds better.

  3. "with her back to the BBQ she could see both ways down the road. It felt best that way. But it did not feel safe" - add this line with small credit footnote if needed!

    Cheers - Stewart M - Melbourne

  4. you write well but you already know that!!!!