Tuesday, October 25, 2016

The Necessary Cliche

Republishing a 2010 post that I came across.

Writing should be crisp and original. But characters can use banal language, and cliches. That's my excuse for this post, and I'm sticking with it. Okay. The scene I was working on needed an immature, well known comeback, and nothing would come to me, so I did some serious research. I'm sharing my critical data with you today. If not useful, I hope it puts a smile on your face.
  • Nanny nanny boo boo stick your head in doo doo.
  • I know you are but what am I.
  • Your momma.
  • I used to care, but now I take a pill for that.
  • You're ugly and your momma dresses you funny.
  • Take me to your alien leader.
  • Your species is feces.
  • If I throw a stick, will you leave me alone?
  • Your teeth are brighter than you are.
  • I'm sorry, I don't speak idiot.
  • Are you too poor to pay attention?
  • You were kissed on both cheeks by the ugly fairy.
  • You were beaten by the ugly stick.
  • Fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
  • Were you born with the dent in your head?
  • Do you have gas, or were you saying something?
  • Was that your entire vocabulary?
  • You're so ugly, if you threw a boomerang, it wouldn't come back.
  • Don't play hide and seek. No one will look for you.
  • Use your head. First time for everything.
  • You don't have to say anything. You offend me by being in the area.
  • Shut up. You'll never be the man your momma is.
  • Your face catch on fire? Looks like someone tried to put it out with a brick.
  • Have to leave? I was just going to poison the tea.
  • We all sprang from apes. You didn't spring far enough.
Write Every Day!


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