Saturday, June 12, 2010

You May Be a Writer If

It's important your shorts have no bulky seams, so they're more comfortable without underwear.
You use your link to your favorite reverse dictionary more than any other.
You have the conjugation of lay on a 3by5 card next to your computer.
You can explain that effect is a noun, and affect is a verb.
Your bathroom breaks coincide with cntl + Enter | New Chapter.
You have twelve style books on the shelf in front of you.
The size of your computer monitor is more important than the size of your TV screen.
You have a dog under your desk, or a cat on your desk.
You fall asleep thinking of new plots.
You know exactly when the trash/mail/UPS man deliver on your block.
You're used to your legs going numb.
Your eyeglasses get thicker every year.
A hangnail ruins your day.
You've gone through five desk lamps in the last year.
You can recite the names of two-hundred NY agents.
You own five editions of Guide to Literary Agents.
Even if you're a guy, you have a bottle of hand lotion on your desk.
Interruptions peeve you as much as a hangnail.
Hook means something very different to you.
At least three rejections trickle in every day of the year.
You belong to three critique groups.
You spend as much on postage as Readers Digest.
You have twelve pairs of reading glasses throughout your house.
You're reading three books concurrently.
You can insult with three-sylable adjectives.
You feel guilty using adjectives.
You feel guilty using adverbs.
Passive writing saddens you.
A list of common edit marks is taped next to your monitor.
Your spouse wishes you'd get a job.
Everyone is impressed you're a writer, but won't bother reading any of your work free on-line.
You buy books.
You know where all the local book stores are.
You actually have a library card in your wallet.

Write Every Day!

Regards,
Mac

3 comments:

  1. You can recite the names of 200 NY literary agents, and their e-mail submissions addresses!

    I think I am a writer.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have three dogs that compete to get under the desk. There's a suffle every two hours.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have a long way to go!!! I have no idea where I'm going and yet, I consider myself a writer

    ReplyDelete